Durga Puja: The Soulful Celebration

Dhak Bajey, shonkho bajey
Kintu beshi bajey mike
Bollywood er latest gaan
shune shune halua tight!

Mon khoje shiulir shubash
Pora petrol er gondher majhey
Ar ektukro shoroter akash
Apartments er phankey phankey

Maa ashben bolei bujhi
bhalo lagey shob mondo
mon-e praan-e toi-tumbur
Ojana okaron ek anondo.

Shobai mile kena-kata
Branded kingba general
Shobi kintu bhalo lagey
Hochche jodio budget fail

Haal fashion er kapor porey
Pandal hopping ar prochur khawa
Bhashan obdi cholbe kintu
E bishal bepar baba!!!

Hang- over katbe jokhon
Credit card er ashbe bill
Ulto palta beshi khele
Pocket e rekho Jelusil.

Tomar amar shobar pujo
Jeno hoi khub anondomoi
Rosh-eo thaki, bosh-eo thaki
Joi hok Maa Durga r joi!!

What I want....

Ask yourself. What do you want from your life? I know this is a very difficult question to answer.

Recently I have been asking this question to myself. What do I want? This is as difficult as knowing my own self. The day I realize that this this and this is what I actually want, I will consider that day as the day of half realization. I mean the battle of knowing myself will be half -won.

When I try to gather my thoughts and ask myself what makes me happy, I really find that am a very common type of person. I want love, I want money, I want every trifle things of material life. Most importantly, I want my own identity in the society.

As an average Indian woman, as a mother, as a daughter, as a sister, as a wife, as a lover, as a friend, as a daughter-in-law and other in-law status…I am making a list of my wishes on priority basis.

1. I want all my near and dear ones to remain healthy, content and peaceful.

2. I want my own identity and independence.

3. I want to fulfill all my duties in different roles with love, dedication and sincerity.

4. I want to achieve one extreme in my life time. It can be any one of the following: Love, Power, Money, Spiritualism.

5. I want to see my son grow up as an ideal human being.

6. I want to get more and more love from my husband.

7. I want to know the mystery of the Universe.

8. I want to know more and more

9. I want to stay beautiful as long as I live.

10. I want to stay active as long as I live.

11. I want a beautiful world full of love.

This is my wish list till now. May be this will shorten or may become longer as I grow older and gain more experience.

Serial Blast Rock New Delhi Markets!

Thank God! He saved my brother, relatives and friends in Delhi. I thank God every day cause He is keeping us safe and alive. But then in our country we can die any time any moment. We were waiting for this to happen in New Delhi, and it happened. Nothing could stop it.

The Indian Mujahideen militant group, which says it has carried out several major attacks in recent months, sent an email to local television stations saying it was responsible for the blasts.
Police and witnesses said two went off in dustbins in and around Connaught Place, a shopping and dining area popular with tourists and locals in the centre of the city. Others exploded in busy markets around the city, within minutes of each other.

The Indian Mujahideen email talked of nine bombs. Police said they had found and defused three bombs.

The deadliest attack in recent years came in July 2006, when seven bombs exploded on Mumbai's railway system killing more than 180 people. In July, at least 45 people were killed after a series of bombs ripped through Ahmedabad. The attack came a day after bombs killed one woman in the IT hub of Bangalore.

And we failed to prevent the attacks. Prevention is better, as there is no cure to death....

R O C K O N !!!!!

Movie : Rock On (2008)
Music Director: Shankar Ehsaan Loy
Director: Abhishek Kapoor
Producer: Excel Films
Starring: Farhan Akhtar, Prachi Desai, Arjun Rampal, Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny, Shahana Goswami, Koel Puri
Rock On Hindi Lyrics by: Javed Akhtar


[Dil kya kehta hai mera,
Kya mein batau,
Tum yeh samjhoge shayad,Mein pagal hu..]- 2 times

Dil karta hai TV tower pe mein charh jau,
Chilla chilla ke mein yeh sabse keh du,
Rock on..
Hai yeh waqt ka ishara,
Rock on..Har lamhat ka haara
Rock on..Yuhi dekhta hai kya tu?
Rock on..Zindagi milegi naa dubara..aaaa..

Dil karta hai sadko par zor se gau,
Sab apne apne ghar ki khidki khole,
Fir mein aise josheele geet sunau,
Mere geeton ko sun ke sab yeh bole,
Rock on..Hai yeh waqt ka ishara,
Rock on..Har lamhat ka haara
Rock on..Yuhi dekhta hai kya tu?
Rock on..Zindagi milegi naa dubara..aaaa..

Jaise jeene ko dil chahe jee waise tu,
Meri to hai bass yeh rai ki,
Apne jeetne bhi armaan hai,
Pure kar le tu..
[Rock on..Hai yeh waqt ka ishara,
Rock on..Har lamhat ka haara
Rock on..Yuhi dekhta hai kya tu?
Rock on..Zindagi milegi naa dubara..aaaa..

Didi must Die!

Kitne achche log mare jatey hai....marwaye jate hai, supari li aur di jati hai....to phir koi didi ko kiyun nehi marta? Jinke liye West Bengal ka inta bada loss ho raha hai?

Socha nehi hai to socho abhi....

Have you ever questioned the regular and small nothings of life? Like why we pay duel tax? I mean we pay income tax and also we pay tax when we buy any commodity or service.

Kareena’s S Fixation

Circuit: E bhai, apun ko ek jhakkass idea aila hai.

Munna: Bol daal! Bol daal!

Circuit: Apun ajse apna naam likhega S I R C U I T- Sircuit!

Munna: Boleto tu rahega anpadh ka anpadh!

Circuit: Kyun bhai?

Munna: Arey, circuit, S nehi C. C IR C U I T!

Circuit: Pata hai bhai! pan apun soch raila hai ke ab S se hi likkhega…

Munna: Kiyun, C se likkhega to raat ko su-su kar ke bistar gila karega kya?

Circuit: Kya bhai! Apun dekhela hai ki Kareena haina, wohh apun ki chikni!

Munna: Kareena! ekdam hoooot hai! Boleto mast rubchik item hai!

Circuit: Item nehi bolneka bhai, tumko bhaigiri ki kasam…

Munna: Kya re circuit, tu to menti sental ho gaila hai, nehi bolega chal..ab bol!

Circuit: Kareena apun ko bahut achchi lagti hai bhai…apun ko ho gaya uske saath…love.

Munna: Bas kya! Apun usko utha layega..tu usko I love you bol dalna…phir shaadi, honeymoon, aur ek cricket team bana dal…bas!

Circuit: boleto roz usko apun I love you bolta hai…pan sapne main. Pan asal zindegi mein to kareena dil de dali…saif ko….hum dil de chuke sanam ho gaya bhai…[crying]

Munna: Arrey circuit, nehi roneka…bilkul nehi roneka! Film industry main to aj Rosy, to kal koi duji! Dekhana…Kareena se to kal tak Shahid Kapur ka chakkar chal raha tha…boleto serious chakkar! Achanak Shahid ko thenga dikhake Saif ke saath holi…pehle to saif ke saath dikhi, bad mein saif ke haath mein dikhi…ab to raat mein bhi saif ke saath hi dikhti hai…thode din ruk ja…yeh Saif bhi jayega…

Circuit: Isiliye to bhai…apun S se apna naam likkhega..dekha nehi Kareena ko S wale hero se pyar hota hai…Shahid…Saif…next Sircuit! Aise apun ka chance pukka ho jayega bhai!

Munna: Circuit… bole to point hai tere paas circuit! Pan tu I love you bolne se pehle hi agar dono ne shadi kar li to? Ab to Filmfair Award function main Karan Johar aur Sah Rukh Khan ne bhabi bol dia kareena ko…malum? News main to dekha hai ki ek bada sa diamond ka ring de ke saif ne Kareena ko engage kar dala..matlab engagement ho gaya.

Circuit: Bhai, saif mein aisa kya hai? Ek to umar main kitna bada, upar se do bachchon ka baap, pehli biwi ko divorce deke kitna saal us phirangi chikni ke saath ghuma…apun to abhi tak kisi ko ek kiss bhi nehi kia bhai…bole to ekdam clean chit character hai apun ka…

Munna: Ei circuit, tu apun ka ek lauta dost hai, boleto best friend…rona nehi…apun tereko duji point bata ta hai sun…

Circuit: Bolo bhai..
Munna: jab tak Shahid aur Kareena ka affair chal raha tha…tab tak Shahid Kapoor ki Kareena ke saath kitni filmei hit hui? Bol?
Circuit: Ek bhi nehi bhai…Shahid bekar ka hero hai…

Munna: Nehire halkat! Jab dono alag huye tab Jab We Met release hua…film hit hua ke nehi?

Circuit: Hua, bada achcha film tha bhai…mahi mera sharbat warga, o mahi mera gat gat pilaaaaa!! Apun bhi piyega Kareena ke haath se sharbaat bhai!!!!

Munna: Arrey, baat sun ! abtak Saif ki kitni filmei hit hui thi?

Circuit: Boleto Saif Ali to ab hit hai bhai…

Munna: Pan Kareena aur Saif ki taka fit hote hi ho gayee na uska latest film Race flop? Ab bol issse kya samajh aya?

Circuit: Bhai, par apun to hero nehi hai na bhai, apun to bhailog hai…apun ka flim hi nehi hai to flop kaise hoga…

Munna: Pi ke talli hai na isliye teri dimag ki batti gul hai. Erra hai kya? tu Kareena ko patayega to apun ko bhaigiri ka dukan bandh karna parega malum kya….chal chal! Kisi din Mumbai police apna encounter kar degi aur apun dono ki hit jori, Munna aur circuit ki jori ho jayega flop! Kya tu yehi chahta hai Circuit mere bhai?

Circuit: [crying] Nehi bhai, apun tumhare bina kaise jiyega bhai…Kareena nehi bhai, apun ko tum mangta hai…

Munna: Abbe jyada mat bol…zamana kharab hai…log apun ko kanta ben bolenge…control oye control!! To tu apna num C se hi likk hega na?

Circuit: Kasam hai bhai, C se hi likkhunga!

Mahabali Khali

Khalbali hai khalbali…
Khalbali hai khal bali…
Khalbali hai khalbali…
Khalbali hai khal bali…
hai khal bali…!!

Gabbar: Arrey O Samba? Ka barbara rahe ho man ma? Kahan khalbali hai?

Samba: Khas khabar laya hun hazur! Mahabali Khali! Dhum macha rahe hai duniyabhar main…

Gabbar: Abtak to humka Mahabali Hanumanji ka naam pata tha, ee Khali kiss khet ki muli hai re?

Samba: Muli nehi maha bali hai ji Khali… Aap to sattar dashak mein hi atak ke reh gaye..abhi bhi khabar ke liye radio aur hamari khabri logo par hi yakin karte ho…

Gabbar: Gabbar Sing kabhi backdated nehi hota hai…wohh to ajkal ki tiknolagy updatwa ho jata hai zaldi. Samba, tera khabri kaun hai re? Kaise mila iss Khali se?

Samba: aaj kaal to Tv mein news channel ka zamana hai…kisiki biwi parosi ke saath bhage to wohh bhi national breaking news hota hai hazur. Wohh bhagi hui biwi ki bhi interview lete hai…aap kiyun bhage? Kya aap apni pati se khush nehi thi? Bhagneki planning kab aur kaise ki…Bhagneke baad ab kaisa lag raha hai… ajkal to Zee News aur Star News mein Khali ke hi news atey rehte hai…wohh WWF mein kushti khelta hua bharat ka ek lauta mushtanda hai.

Gabbar: achcha? Arrey o Samba, ja ek Tv utha ke le aa gaon ke kissi ghar se. Khali kitna mahabali hai, tanik hum bhi to dekhe!

Samba: Nehi…Thakur ke admi ne ab A.K. 47 rakhna shuru kar diya hai…mere pass hai wohi purana zang laga hua rifle…ab koi humse tanik bhi nehi darta hai hazur!

Gabbar: Gabbar ke naam se nehi darte Khud Gabbar ke naam se? Ab dekhi, kaisan thakur ki admion ko hum khaini ki tarah chaba jai! Khak thu!! Khuk khuk khuk khuk (Gabbar coughs)

Samba: Ab aap buddhe ho gaye ho hazur, ab humey dakeiti chhor deni chahiye aur ahngsa ka path le lena chahiye…Khali ki tarah!

Gabbar: Kaun kehta hai humri umar ho gaya hai? Aur Khali ki tarah?

Samba: Maha bali Khali ne bhi Gandhi ka path liya hai…abhi kal hi chhup-chhupa ke hum gaon mein tv dekh ke aye, Khali ki Gandhigiri.
Gabbar: Achcha?

Samba: Khali ne WWF ki ek bahut balshali khiladi Big Shaw ko bharat se laye gaye uphar diya…wohh bhi ladai se thik pehle, wring ke andar.

Gabbar: Ladai se pehle uphar? Khali zaroor dar gaya hoga us Big Shaw se…ka diya re uphar mein?

Samba: Pehle Kanpur ka kala Gangajal…Big Shaw usko sungkar naak bandh kar liya…
Phir sharab ki botal, made in India, Big Shaw wohh khare khare pi gaya…phir ek Bharat ki murgi…aur last mein ek bari si bakri…Khali kehta tha Big Shaw ko bhukh bahut lagti hai…

Gabbar: Phir ka hua? Big Shaw bina khele kushti haar gaya?

Samba: Nehi…hazur…kahani mein twist hai…Big Shaw ne mike par Khali ke diye gaye upharon ke liye abhar jataya…Khali bahut khush ho raha tha…par wohh sasur ka nati mike rakhte hi de mara ek mukka, Khali kate per ki tarah gir para!!

Gabbar: Ab bata…tera mahabali Khali, Gandhigiri ne uska sara bal le liya…aur wohh dhar se gir para…khelne se pehle hi haar gaya…izzat gawa di, apni aur aone desh ki! Yehh pehelwano ki akkal to ghutno mein hoti hai na…

Samba: Ee to bollywood ka asar hai jo WWF wale Khali ko bhi nehi chhora! Jo film mein hota hai, wohh asal jindegi kahan hota hai!

Gabbar: Ab bol, banduk chhhor ke Gandhigiri karna hai kya?

Samba: Nehi hazur, hum itna akal ka andha thodi hi hun!Hum to daku hi achha hun!

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One rainy day taught me that Humanity, above all, rules!

Rainy days! Means what? Romantic for lovers, irritating for those who go out and work and melancholic for those who have time to think. For me rain is right now a way to kill summer blues! And I like it. Truly speaking, I do not have much time to think because I have a kid full time at home: (Orkut lingo!)

But today I would share an experience with you which changed the way I used to reflect on certain issues.

It was a season of monsoon and most of the times the sky was cloudy and evenings were followed by heavy rains and storms, called Kal Baisakhi in Bengali. On such a cloudy evening I went to take private tuition after college on a rickshaw, as I did thrice a week. Most of the time during this rickshaw ride, I keenly observed people, houses, huts, bazaars, shops, temples mosques, stray dogs and other animals available on the roads in Assam. Of course sometimes I used to immerse deep down into my thoughts as well. So much so that I would not see where I had to stop and the rickshaw walah would tell me ‘Didibhai, koi jaitai aslai?’ (Where you were supposed to go?) Then I would be shocked to realize that I had come past my destination, at least one kilometer. But on that day I was alert, so was watching people getting busy in winding up their day and going back to home.

Sun was setting, but small girls and boys refused to end their play in the grounds where cattle were busy grazing. Exhausted labors, came to work in the city, were on there way back to their villages. Students like me were rushing to reach in time to their respective private tutors. Sounds of Conch shells and Kashi (a metallic thick plate hit by a wooden stick to make sound) coming out of Hindu homes and Mandirs. Sound of Azan was coming out of a nearby Mosque. I followed the sound and saw Muslim people were busy in washing their hands, face and feet. I knew they do it before performing Uju each time. There were a lot of people in the Mosque and more entering. I was just watching and suddenly a sound from my inside told me, ‘If I could throw a bomb on that Mosque right now! Then…’ I hope you know what it means.

I reached my private tutor’s home imagining myself as a super hero causing a bomb blast. Came back to reality when one of my classmates told me that sir had cancelled the tuition today, because the sky was showing the signs of dangerous rainstorm. I felt upset, but when I saw the sky, I knew that sir had made a correct decision. But I was stranded! I already had left my rickshaw walah. Suddenly there was no one in the road, and a few rickshaw walahs were peddling very fast towards their homes, denying calls from the passengers. Suddenly there was no light; and no human around me. It was so dark that I could rarely see a house on the left of me, a few paces away. The storm had already started, and it was raining heavily. I was so much afraid of the whole scenario that I forgot to open my umbrella, but then it would not have helped me either because of the strong wind.

I somehow managed to walk up to the verandah of that house. There was not streetlight as well. When there would be rain, there would be a power cut. I stood there, with a cow which also was looking for a shelter. Trust me, there was no one on the street and I was not quite familiar with the area. Shivering in cold as I was drenched totally in the rainwater, I waited for the storm to stop. Several minutes passed by, but it continued with same frenzy and fury.

Now that I was sure my family would call up my private tutor to know my whereabouts, I knew that my younger brother and ma would come out in the rain looking for me. But how would they find me in the dark? I hated myself for not staying there in my tutor’s home, what a fool I was! But then, that stormy evening had to teach me a lesson of life! So I was there standing, dripping wet, in a stormy night, on an unknown verandah.

After half an hour I guess, I heard a few voices talking, and then I saw a hint of light coming through the slit of the door of the house where I was standing. I just stayed where I did, not knowing what to do then. A man and two women came out with a torch. They saw me, the woman in sari, reacted sympathetically. She welcomed me inside the home. I told her that I was alright and I would leave as soon as the rain stopped. But all of them including the guy insisted that I should not stand like that in the rain. I somehow was convinced that I was standing on the verandah of a home where there people like us lived. So, I decided to go in. They spoke to me and asked me where I lived and why I was into this mess. I told them the stories of my foolishness. I came to know that the man of was a doctor practicing in local medical college. He promised to drop me home when the rain would stop. After a few minutes I found myself a bit consoled, so I had one cup of tea in the candlelit room.

When I was sipping my tea the power came back. I saw the faces of those women and man clearly for the first time. The woman did not have the hint of ‘Sindur’ on her forehead, so I thought she must be a widow. She asked me to go to another room and collect my wet scarf which she took to let it dry. I went there and got the shock of my life!

I saw calendars of Muslim beliefs were hanging on that wall and things related to Muslim religion were scattered here and there. ‘So, they are Muslims’, I told myself and started counting my heartbeat. I had learnt never to believe Muslims. I realized that they did not ask me my name, where I lived and what I studied in which college were the discussed topics.

By then, the storm outside had subsided. So the man, the doctor was getting ready to take me to my home. We came out and found knee high water on the roads, uncle (I addressed him) was happy to help me walk through clogged water. I was continuously chanting my Guru’s mantra and left everything on God.

Finally I saw the gate of my house and met my brother and my ma there. They were coming out in the water to look for me. My mother saw me and came running towards me. My family sighed in relief. So did I. They thanked that doctor, I thanked my God and yes that Muslim man, by now I really addressed him ‘uncle’. He happily handed me over to my Mom and bid goodbye. The man was a happy spirit, always smiling. I never had seen him again though! But I would remember him all my life.

Now, what do you think I have learnt from this incident? I know there is no need to explain.

Today, I do not hate people because of their religion anymore. Because I have set other legitimate parameters depending on which I decide if I should hate someone. I am thankful to my life for what it has taught me at the early stage of my life ….

Humanity, above all, rules!

Shah Rukh Vs Big B

Munna: E Circuit…apun ke bheje mein ek question ayela hai.
Circuit: Kya bhai?
Munna: Boleto kidnap karneka hai…pan apun kisi aire ghaire ko nehi karega…karega to Bollywood ka badshah ko!
Circuit: Bolo bhai kisko uthane ka hai!
Munna: waich to! Bollywood ka badshah ko uthane ka hai!
Circuit: Pan Bollywood ka badshah kaun? Amitabh ya Shah Rukh?
Munna: waich to hai big question…70 saal ka Sexy Sam ya 40 ka Om!
Circuit: Boleto 70 saal mein bhi sexy…Bachchanji ko to Viagra ka brand ambassador hona mangta hai. Kya bhai…sahi bolana?
Munna: E Circuit, itne bade Big B ke liye kya bolta re tu…heh heh…pan kuchh galat nehi bola…unko sexy dikhne ke liye shahrukh ke jaisa 6 pack bhi nehi banana para…aur pani mein bhigna bhi nehi para…
Circuit: beti se bhi chhoti umar ki ladkiyan bhai, dekhana Nishabd film main, kaise Big B ke liye pagal ho gayee…wohh dono ne kya kiss kiya tha …ek dam romantic bhai..kya kismat payee hai Big B ne!!
Munna:…idhar to apun ko bhari jawani mein koi nehi milti, Somalia ka akal apun ki kismat se bilkul chipak gaila re Circuit!
Circuit: aur suno bhai…ek aur film hai Tabu ke sath Big B ki…Chini Kam! Usmein to…apun ko sab kuchh bahut jyada laga bhai…bolte hue sharam aa raha hai…
Munna: Bol daal Circuit bol daal…apun sunega aur apni kismat pe royega aaj! Sala 70 saal ke buddhe se jealous hona parta hai ajke jamane mein…
Circuit: Bhai, wohh na Tabu se dating karneko jata hai…usse pehle wohh dawai ke dukan main ghusta hai, dukan wala 74 saal ka Buddha dekh kar hyper tension ki dawa nikalta hai…pan apun ka Big B kya manga malum?
Munna: kya ?
Circuit: Boleto Condom bhai…ha ha ha ha!!
Munna: Sahi bolta tha tu Circuit, iske baad to Bachchanji ko to Viagra ka brand ambassador hona mangta hai! Wohich hai Bollywood ka badshah. Ab deakhna…KBC, boleto apna Kaun Banega Crorepati yaar! Kitna popular show tha…
Circuit: Ha bhai, apun roz dekhta tha…
Munna: Shah Rukh aya, chala?? N--O!
Circuit: Kitna kuchh kiya bhai, contestants ki massage bhi ki, free main gari bhi di…pan sponsors ne haath khara kar diya!
Munna: bahut sharam ki baat hai Circuit! Abhi to dekha hai ek naya show laya hai Shah rukh Kya Aap Panchvi Pass Se Tej Hain? Dekhte hai kya hota hai uska!
Circuit: Ek aur khabar hai bhai…Big B ne to Shah Rukh se jyada income tax bhi diya hai!
Munna: Malum? Aj kal to jitna jyada income tax, utni hi badi ijjat hai film industry ke andar…idhar bhi Big B hi jit gaila! Apun to Big B ka fan ho gai re Circuit!
Circuit:Sahi bola bhai…Apna Shah Rukh bhi super star hai, uska har film hit, pan jab wohh sattar saal ka hoyega..tab bhi kya hit pe hit dega…Bachchan ki tarah!
Munna: Tab ke liye to aur 30 saal intejar kar parenga na Circuit! Tab tak Big B ko dekh te hai…kab tak wicket pakad ke rakhta hai! Pan tu ne ye sab bol ke apun ko khush kar diya Circuit! Boleto kidnapping ka idea cancel! Apun dekhega khel Big B ka!
Circuit: ekdam sahi bola bhai…chalo ab botal khol dalte hai issi khushi main!

Bhaigiri, ya Gandhigiri, ab kaun bachaye!

Circuit: E bhai hua kya? E bhai hua kya?
Munna bhai: Samjho ho hi gaya! Samjho gir hi gaya!
Circuit: E bhai, ulti kahani mat suna! Kya gira hai kahan?
Munna: E dhakkan, Yeh sarkar girega abki election mein!
Circuit: Kiyun bhai? Sonia aur Manmohan ki jori flop ho gaya?
Munna: Samjho ho hi gaya!
Circuit: Kiyun bhai?Batana! Kya hai ye majra?
Munna:Dimag ko bheja hai kya ghas khane? Zor daal, dimag pe zara!
Circuit: Congress ne public ko banaya mamu kya? Woh to har sarkar banati hai! Is mein hai naya kya? E Bhai Hua kya?
Munna: Public ka ho gaya home budget ka jhol, sab ki packet me hai ek bada sa hole. Sensex ghat ta hai roz par mehengai hai high! Hai, yeh kaisi jindegi is sarkar se pai!
Circuit: Bhai, gandhigiri se kuchh hua kya?
Munna: Manmohan Singh ji ko bola janta pe taras khao, do something, if you don’t!
Kursi se hat jao!
Circuit: Sahi bola bhai, ghabrao mat!
Munna: par Singji boley, ‘No if, no but, sirf Jat!’
Circuit: Singji ke saath to hai Sonia!
Munna: Tabhi to wohh khulke chakh rahe hai India!
Circuit: E bhai, ab hoga kya?
Munna: Opposition karega ab sarkar pe war, Milijuli sarkar mein khatm hoga pyar, party-yan bikengi phirse bich bazaar!
Circuit: Bhai, phir kya?
Munna: apun gandhigiri ki dusri chhal lagai, har roj ek gobi ka phool, Soniaji ko bhijwai
Circuit: gobi ka phool!
Munna: Samjha kar Circuit, gulab mehenga hai na? aur phool to phool hai.
Circuit: acchha bhai, phir kya?
Munna: Sonia ji boli, thank you Munna bhai, Rahul aur main ne jam ke gobi khai, is mehengai main, tumne hi bachai!
Circuit: Jai ho Sonia Mai!
Munna: Tab apun ne bola, janta ko kaun bachaye? Sonia ji boli,humne panch barshiya plan banai, par execute karne me aur 5 saal lagenge bhai, agar public ne phirse vote me jitai.
Circuit: yeh panch ka akhra kuchh samajh nehi ai.
Munna: Bole to bole kaisi sarkar hai pai, ulti sidhi, aisi waisi, desh ko kahan lai!
Circuit: Lage raho Munna bhai!
Munna: Bhaigiri, ya Gandhigiri, ab kaun bachaye! Hai hai!
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Can you shut up and watch nonsense happening in front of you on a daily basis?

My husband says I keep complaining about the place I stay. And trust me this is a fact. When I was in Delhi I kept nitpicking about people out there. Now I am in Kolkata, I really do not like anything here but food and fish. You may be wondering about my psychological balance. Wait a bit. Let me tell you that I can really be happy with very less. But am not ready to sacrifice when there is no need of it.

Let me tell you about what I used to whine, I would rather say I protested.

In Delhi

I used to fight a lot with auto walahs about not running the meter. I used to go to office by auto, and it turned into my routine to get into an argument most of the time. In the mornings they would run the meter but take two rupees more than what the meter read. But on the way back from office, they would charge 10/- more than the actual rate. So when I used to be late I used tell the driver, ‘yeh lo tumhare extra 10 rupaye, yeh to bhara nehi hai…asli bhare se jyada hai, to isko tum bhikh samajh ke rakh lo’. There are many incidents of my fights with autowalas. Most of the time I won the battle! LOL (not because I am a woman, please!)

Smoking in the bus. I have a problem with cigarette smoke. So, if anyone smoked in the bus, I would simply tell the bus conductor about it. He used to handle the issue. One day, a bus conductor started smoking in the bus, I could not get to know about it as I was far behind. The conductor was a Hariyanvi, so was very rough with his behavior. A bahenji started complaining about it and the conductor answered back, yes, and the way he answered was not a polite one. I would have slapped him across his face I had to get such an answer. Rather the bahenji was an elderly woman. She said she had problem with cigarette smoke so she complained to the bus driver. Instantly the conductor said, ‘aap utar jaona bus se! manne to cigret pina hai bas.’ Strangely enough, the driver did not say anything to the conductor, just requested him to throw out the cigarette very humbly. I, then thought that might be the bus belonged to his father. I kept observing some more time, as I had time till I reached ITO. The lady had patience, she kept complaining and the conductor was very stubborn, as he kept chain smoking.

To my utter shock, no one came and supported her. I then stood up and called the conductor, “ Bhaiya, jara suno…” He came to me, ‘hanji madam!’. I said, ‘bhaiya cigarette fek do, aisa hai ki mujhe asthma ka problem hai, agar tumne nehi feka who cigarette abhi ke abhi, to main agle signal pe traffic police ko bula kar complain kar dungi…phir tum fine dete rehna ya phir jail jana. Thik hai!”

The conductor then said, “apni bus ke andar cigarette pine se fine lagta hai kya?”
I said, “haan lagta hai, us police wale bhaiya se puchh ke phir confirm karun?”
The conductor said, “mujhe nehi pata tha madamji, thik hai, ab nehi pina hai.”
I said, “thank you bhaiya, ainda koi aur aap ke bus main piye to usko bhi bol dena.” He said, ‘thik hai’. The lady thanked me when I got down.
So, I shared two stories…I will share more stories in future about Delhi and Kolkata. Keep waiting. And also please advise me how I should handle my attitude, right or wrong…whatever!

I do not feel proud for being a Hindu, Bengali or an Indian.

Recently I read that Bal Thackeray wants the Hindu youths to come up with suicide squads to control Islamic extremist activities. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a pichhware main laat for one such laat…and where does it end? Nowhere! But our Bapuji’s Gandhigiri system is not going to work either…because it has not since Bharat was divided into two. So what is to be done? But Bal Thackerayji, aisi batein nehi kahtein hai, bas chupchaap karte hain jo karna nota hai. Thik hai? We are a so called secular country, where secularism, democracy actually has one single meaning for you, me, and hum…Vote Bank! So, what is the use of this chillamilli?

I don’t know why we learn to be proud of who we are. I used to be very proud that I am Indian, that I am Hindu, that I am Bengali. But then everyone has the same history of pride. And every religion has gone through reforms. And have you known of any religion which was created by God? Men created religion and to err is human. If my religion is created by God and is good then why it was reformed? Why? If I am good, then who says others are bad?

I find our Indian culture, mainly Hindus are hypocrites. Think of Brahminism, Brahmins think they are God-sent and others are dirty, small and to be scorned. What kind of a culture which says only certain Brahmin race is superior and others are inferior? Even today orthodox families do not go for inter-caste marriages. In the interiors your family will be let alone of you do that.
And let’s talk about the status of women in our society. LOL. Mandir mein Kaali ma ka rup deke puja karte hai aur ghar main kalima samajhke khub dhote hai!! Think about killing girl child. Even today women are burnt because of dowry. And following the Saans-Bahu tv serials is something to be ashamed of, but then these soaps sell because the stories are taken from ghar ghar ki kahani…just that a bit chatakdar masala is added.

But trust me, facts are stranger than fiction, and facts say that ghar ghar ki kahani can be dirtier than what it appears in the soaps. Women do not have equality…equality? Asking too much…women do not have even the status of being human. Think that women in our country are separated from their parents after marriage, asked to love their husband’s family even if they get nothing but hatred and pain. That’s their duty. How come loving someone can be a duty? Does the husband love his wife’s parents? Husbands, I ask you…I don’t need an answer though. She lives like an alien in the family where she is responsible for everyone’s well-being. But nobody is responsible for looking after her. Yes, the marital pledge during the ceremony gives her responsibility to the husband. But who cares? If I say, the husband should also live away from his family as the wife does, then? Nehi, yeh humara culture nehi hai! As if culture ko banaye rakhne ka theka sirf aurat ka hai.The bread-winner is a man, so he can do whatever he wants to do. A woman can also be a bread-winner, but her power has limits. She has to bring forth babies to the family, nurture them till they are full-grown. But mother’s name is not necessary, when it is time for the baby to face the outer world. And female infanticide is still a growing concern! So its obvious that women are primarily unwanted. Even most households even today expects a their first baby to be a male. If that happens then there is no need for a second try to get a male child.
The act of creating a new life within and bring on to the earth is not something that makes a feminine divine. Its like having sex one night and forgetting what happened, arre bhai isme kya hai? Bachche to aise hi paida ho jate hai….so, oh the superior, oh men, why can’t you do that? After all the baby is going to carry your name. Why should women bother?

Hello, I am talking about majority of households. Not the elite or open-minded families. Not all are lucky as you and me baby!

And status of women in Muslim society is beyond my area of explanation. I hate to talk about that. You will get thousands of books written on this issue. But they think only Muslims should live and all should die. So? Apne girewan mein koi nehi jhakta!!

Kaun rahega aur kaun jayega? The Law of Nature will win. Nature is not one-eyed; it does not allow privileges to a particular caste, gender or race. Nature treats all equally. Even if we consider that the super-nature is God, then He also does the same thing. Equality and Justice is what is going to be there.

Please give me cause if you say that its wrong not to feel proud for being a Hindu, Bengali or an Indian. But yes, I feel proud that I am human. As I think, understand and realize.

A Skit written during IPL...

Shah Rukh in Kolkata

Shah Rukh: Korbo, lorbo, jitbo re! Korbo lorbo jitbo…Dada…soch raha hun Kolkata main ek bangla le lun…Apna Knight Riders Kolkata ka team hai, main jitna time jyada dunga, team ka motivation utna hi barhega! Kya kehte ho?

Saurabh: Idea achcha hai…zaroor! Aap Kolkata mein rahge to bahut hi achcha hoga team ke liye.

Shah Rukh: Hamesha to nehi par shooting se jab bhi time milega main yahan aa jaya karunga…tab masti bhi aur match bhi…dono sath sath chalega hmmmm!!!

Saurabh: Ha ha bilkul bilkul! Kyun nehi, sabka bandbast ho jayega!

Interlude….[Background: Mobile ringing]

Saurabh: Hello!

Shah Rukh: Dada…dekho kitna shaandar bangla liya hai…mahal ki tarah!
Saurabh: Aap to hai king khan, to bangla bhi waisa hi lenge na? Practice main pahunch rahe hai na aap?

Shah Rukh: Ya ya why not? Just coming…mera driver abhi nehi paucha hai…naya hai…aj se hi join kiya hai…abhi 1 baj rahe hai na? Main 2 baje tak pahunch jaunga! Ok bye!

Saurabh: Bye!

Interlude [Background: Mobile ringing]

Shah Rukh: Hello!

Saurabh: Hello Shah Rukh, aap kahan rah gaye, abhi to practice bhi khatm ho gayee its 5 pm now….pura team aap ke liye wait karta raha!

Shah Rukh: Shit! I am sorry yaar! Main abhi traffic jam main phasa hua hun pichhle 1 ghante se…3 kilometer lamba rally ja rahi hai, lal jhanda liye…mante hobe, korte hobe chilla rahe hain….I feel like crying!! Hunn!!
Saurabh: Ohh ho, I understand Shahrukh, yeh Kolkata hai, yeh party wale…bolte to hai Korte hobe, mante hobe, par kuchh karne jao to yehi rokte hai! Pr tum thora jaldi nikal te to iss jhamelese bach jate…

Shah Rukh: Jaldi kaise nikalta? Mera naya driver 1 baje se gayab tha…4 baje aya hai…puchha to bolta hai ki dopahar ko neho sone se usko raste main kuchh dikhayee nehi deta hai. Tum sale bangali log dopehar main soye bina nehi reh sakte?

Saurabh: Aap to gussa ho gaye!!

Shah Rukh: ek driver ki baat hoti to kuchh aur thi, mere bangle main power back-up system kharab ho gaya pehle din hi…mechanic ne dopehar ko ane se mana kar diya.

Saurabh: Kiyun?

Shah Rukh: wohh mechanic dopehar ko kaam nehi karta, usko rest lena hota hi!! Soch sakte ho? Dimag kiska thik rahega?

Saurabh: Ohh I am sorry Shah Rukh sare Kolkata ki taraf se…bas ab gussa mat ho! Jaldi se aa jao….amra Korbo lorbo jitbo re!

Shah Rukh: Ohh han han… amra Korbo lorbo jitbo re! Kal to match hai!

Interlude [Background: Cricket commentary: Eden main black out ho gaya hai, pichhle 5 minutes se mechanics light thik karne ke kaushish main nakam rahe hai. Match ruk gaya hai aur abhi agey kya kiya jaye yehi decide karna hai do pakshon ke captano ko]

Shah Rukh: Ohh God, Kolkata main aisa bhi hota hai? King Khan ne Kolkata ko choose kiya…aur Kolkata ke Eden main jab match hota hai to batti gul! And you look so cool and composed! How?

Saurabh: I understand your frustration! Even I am frustrated, par hame adat hain, aur I am the captain…mujhe to cool rehna hi hoga!

Shah Rukh: Tum log to cricket ke sabse bare fan hote ho na? Eden main international match ke andar black out! Good heavens! Kya hoga agar lights thik nehi huye? Tie ho jayega! Jeetne wala match humein tie main chhorna parega?

Saurabh: Please Shah rukh, keep your cool! Please aap washroom jaiye aur thoda fresh ho ke aiye…

Shah Rukh: I think you are right, yeh light ke liye wait karna is driving me nuts! Aakhir King Khan jahan hai wahan pe black out!! Ok I will just come…

Saurabh: Ohh gaye!! Mere dimag ka dahi kar diya, ek taraf yeh light, upar se Shah Rukh ki fight!! God help me!!!

Shah Rukh: Enough is enough!

Saurabh: Kya hua King Khan? Ab itni jaldi washroom se aa gaye?

Shah Rukh: Guess what? Guess the nastiest thing that could happen so far here in Kolkata!!

Saurabh: Kya aapse kisine chanda manga?

Shah Rukh: Nope

Saurabh: Mamtadidi ne aapki gari ke age dharna diya?

Shah Rukh: No! Mamta kya kisi bhi didi ko tacle karna King Khan ka chutki ka kaam hai…agey

Saurabh: Gauri ji ne CPM join kar liya

Shah Rukh: Shut up!! [Shouting] ab suno….yahan washroom main paani nehi hai…Gauri washroom ke bahar khari hai, usko abhi ke abhi ghar jana hai!!

Saurabh: Par aabhi to bahut traffic jam hoga!! Bangla pahuchte pahunch te to…raste main hi…I mean…

Shah Rukh: Abhi mera helocopter aa raha hai…hum seedhe Mumbai jaa rahe hai!! Main Kolkata main kabhi nehi aunga, and I will make sure ki Knight Riders ka match kabhi Kolkata main nehi ho! Aur wohh bangla tum rakh lena…papers main bhijwa dunga!

Saurabh: What a shame Kolkata!

Kalamwali Bai ko Gussa Kiyun ata hai?

Well, that’s a difficult question to answer as I have a long list beginning with the the Kudha wala who picks my kudha in most of the mornings when he feels like to Ash sporting a Gucci wala sunglass of 10 lacs just to give her a corporate look in Sarkar Raj to Bandhs called upon by our dear Mamta didi to economic recession disturbing my home budget etc. etc.

Now, you may think why I need a blog. Its because I feel that I am not the single one who is angry all the time…our democracy has bestowed us with frustration as we do not have the habit of taking charge of anything in the society, apna pet ka dhanda ho jaye, future secure ho jaye aur kya chahiye? But then our sleeping conscience never dies, it remains there trying to break the iron cage of selfishness…when fails to come to the surface of our conscious mind, it sends from-no-where thoughts…. “But why!!” But soon the questioning thought die down as we are pretty expert in numbing that part of our mind which asks unnecessary questions, which has nothing to do with our own life. But that numbed part of us remains there. When we touch that part and get no sensation, we feel ashamed of ourselves as we know that we have even stopped questioning the wrong…forget about thinking of doing anything about it.

I decided to express when I feel something has gone wrong. Because when I do not express I become angry. And suppressed anger kills the soul.