21st June, 2012

 

Thank you Lord Shiva! :)

Lost and found...

These are a few water color paintings by me....painted in 2007, Kolkata. I lost these somewhere, but these remained somewhere in my almirah. I miss painting, an activity to calm down the racing mind. Will start as soon as I get time, hopefully. :)

All are damaged, discolored... but still a part of mine...remind me of the happiness I felt while painting these. I do not take care of anything at times....which is bad.My parents have kept my paintings back at my paternal home, in better condition.

 

A note to all on my 34th birthday!

                                                                                                                  Today is my 34th birthday. :) 

 

As always (post 2002), my husband was the first one to wish me. Then came wishes from my parents, brother and a few closest friends. And right now my facebook page is flooded with birth day wishes. All wishes of course make the day really special.

Birthdays, till now, have been special in terms of gifts received and how I celebrated. But this birthday, being the first one in Bangalore, I am physically away from my near and dear ones. This is the reason, I will not be celebrating the day the way I do usually. But, may be this is the first birthday, in which I am seeing a new me, and can actually differentiate me from pre-14.06.2011. This birth day is exceptional. 

Today, I take it as an opportunity to thank all, who have directly or indirectly helped me for being what I am today.

• My dad...I actually have started understanding you...which I did not in all these years. I love you so much. I know you will never read this blog. But may be that is why I am able to write here that I am proud of you. :P
• My mom...I know what you want to say, even when you are not able to set your words right. I know you are proud of me. :)
• My brother...thank you for understanding me when no one else could...I am proud of you, for the person you are.
• My son, your very existence kept me going...when nothing else worked! 
• Thank you Mridul, a friend still exists in you, beyond all other roles I play, you can see me as a human...
• Thank you Pankaj Pandey, Rajib Chaudhary, Sanhita Nag, Payel, Sangeeta Das, Holly McCulloch, Someswar Chakravorty for being there for me…you will always remain close to my heart.
• Thank you Ram Sankarda, Gurumurthi, for being friend and guide in my spiritual journey

Thank you Team Acteva, and Virtual Den members for giving me many fun-filled moments, when I needed them the most.

I thank all of those who are connected to me in the real world or virtual, and who have somehow touched my soul and inspired me. I thank you all! And I love you all....This birthday is special for me...because I never was in love with life. I wish to share the joy of living with you, which I do through my blog.

And at last, thank you my Lord Shiva...you showed me the truth, and its beauty. Be with me always!

Om Namah Shivay!

I am blessed

I am lucky that it did not take more than two to three months to learn how to live in moments. Earlier, I only heard the phrase without actually knowing the real meaning. I came to know about it and practiced with honesty. Here I am, happy, peaceful and satisfied.

When I get up in the morning and when I go to sleep at night...I see a happy me in the mirror. I was never so thankful for everything in my life. I feel blessed...

But let me tell you that there is no reason I may give for my thankfulness, no achievement to record...no new love in life, no additional money or asset I have accumulated. Just that everything around me seems feels so good or not/less irritating. The anger within seems to have got replaced with joy and hope.

I am full of gratitude for everything I have in my life, for all the experiences, fortunate and unfortunate moments, moments of hope and pain, betrayal and gain, love and hate. All of those make me what I am today. I am hopeful, and I do believe that nothing is actually impossible for me.

If you read through my blog…go back to the initial days...you will know how I have changed for better...You might get an answer too.

Believe that everything you wish for is possible. It is you who is going to do it for you, no one else. There is no one else to blame for your hopelessness, since the day you were sent to this earth you were equipped with a powerhouse within you, which remained unexplored, unused.  Ignite that powerhouse in you by taking charge of your life. Know yourself, accept situations as it is and then move on...to make changes  pro-actively to get the desired results.

This world is a great and vast jigsaw puzzle, the parts of which are dynamic...changing shape with every action you make. Our fate is in our hands...so there is no one to blame. Start right now...by believing in YOU. YOU ARE BLESSED...never forget that. :)

I will come back with more realizations...till then

Keep the faith!

Rudra by Rajesh Indulkar...beautiful!

Fakir Lalon Sai

ছেড়ে দে মা হাতের বাঁধন, যায় যেদিকে যায় দুই নয়ন।। পরের মা'কে ডাকবে লালন, তোর গৃহে আর থাকবে না...। আর আমারে মারিস নে মা...।। যেনা বোঝে ছেলের বেদন, সেই ছেলের মা'র বিথা জীবন। বিনয় করে বলছে লালন, কাঁদছে সে করে করুণা...

When we go back in the history to see how Lalon became Lalon Fakir, we will see that it was the moment of realization of the futility of our civilization which was only based on the rules and regulations set by different religions.  When Lalon’s mother came to know that he was rescued and survived by a Muslim household, and he stayed with that Muslim family for many months till he recuperated and recalled his identity, she did not accept him back in her life. She even asked Lalon’s wife not to touch him and to forget him and live the rest of her life as a widow. This shock was followed by another life-changing shock when Lalon’s wife decided to abide by her mother-in-law’s command, in spite of the conjugal love they had in their relationship, the wife chose religion and the norms of society over him.

This is when Lalon decided to abandon the society and left for the jungle, and spent the rest of his life away from mainstream society…in search of his Moner Manush, the One.  But people followed him and accepted him as their guru. That is another story, which I will share later on.

He was an illiterate, never had any formal/informal education in his lifetime. But he could describe the most profound knowledge from the Upanishads and the Vedas in such simplicity that anyone from any religion could easily comprehend his spiritual teachings and realizations.

অজান খবর না জানিলে কিসের ফকিরী... যে নূরে নূর নবী আমার তাহে আরশ বারী।। মূলাধারের মূল সেই নূর, নূরের ভেদ অকূল সমদ্দুর... যার হয়েছে প্রেমের অঙ্কুর ঝলকে দেবে তাঁরি।। সিরাজ সাঁই বলেরে লালন, আপন দেহে অন্বেষণ... নূরে নূরে ক'রে মিলন থেক রে হুঁসিয়ারী..

Imagine, here is describing the experience of Sachchidananda after the awakening of Kulakundalini in human being.  Most of his teachings through his songs invite the seekers to look within, and search for the One, the God, or the Absolute.  He opens the doors of spiritual enlightenment for the common and illiterate, and the people from the lowest strata of the society, for whom spiritualism was actually prohibited at that time.

I really really am in love with Lalon Sai’s songs. It has not been a long time since I got introduced to him. But technically, I known him as a person first and then got introduced with his songs. I read a novel written on his life that was published in Bengali magazine Desh. After knowing about his spiritual journey, and adoring the way he evolved and actually stood against the stupid norms of the society, with such simplicity and power! He fascinated me totally. Then I found out his songs, and scolded myself for never exploring such rich source of spiritualism…which was actually always there and popular among us, the Bengalis.

খেয়েছি বেজাতে কঁচু না বুঝে, এখন তেঁতুল কোথা পাই খুজে...।। কঁচু এমন মানগো সাঁই তারে কেউ চিনলি নারে ভাই, খেয়ে হলাম পাগল পারা। এখন যুগ্নিঘরা চুলকাইছে...।। খেয়েছি বেজাতে কঁচু না বুঝে..

I wish I could properly translate his songs in English and share those with people who do not speak bengali.  But I dare not!  May be I will look for some good translation work on his songs.

But Lalon Fakir is not a song writer only… he is a spiritual leader. I will tell you more on his life as and when I can. Just know that he is one of my favorites J

Knowing the history of my Bharat

India has always had a strange way with her conquerors. In defeat, she beckons them in, then slowly seduces, assimilates and transforms them.

William Dalrymple, in  White Mughals

I am reading this book right now, just started and slowly getting immersed into the sea of in-depth analysis, gripping story-telling... will let you know once I am finished. Going to be quite a read! :)

একটি প্রেমের কবিতা

Ekti Premer Kobita, recited by Someswar Chakravorty


Parthapratim Ghosh is the poet.

 

Purnamidam: 'This is complete'

पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदम पूर्णात पूर्णमुदच्यते
पूर्णस्य पुर्नामदय पुर्नामेवा वाशिश्यते

purnamadah: 'That is complete.'
purnamidam: 'This is complete.'
purnamadah purnamidam 'That is complete, this is complete'.
purnat purna mudachyate - 'From that completeness comes this completeness'
purnasya purnamadaya - If we take away this completeness from that completeness'
purnameva vashishyate: 'Only completeness remains.'

purnamadah purnamidam, the beginning is the Supreme Reality.
Described in the Upanishad as the Supreme Brahman, Para Brahman, The Ultimate Truth.
"That Supreme Reality is Complete'. It is purna, It is always full, complete and self-existing,
Permanent, The Supreme Reality remains when everything else perishes.
That Supreme Reality which knows no darkness but only effulgence.
Free of impurities and imperfections. It is complete and full.

What then is Supreme Brahman?
Purnamidam: 'This is also Complete.'
'That Supreme Truth is complete' and 'This is complete'
The Supreme Truth is not outside of yourself "All this is Brahman. All is Truth."
But, The Truth is veiled. You remove the veil, and all differences disappear .
Then "This Brahman ' becomes no different from 'That Brahman.'

The spiritual aspect of "This and That" differentiation, is caused by the separation in the mind.
'That is Complete, This is Complete.' Purnameva vashishyate- even if we are separating,
'That remains complete and purna.' It is the ultimate, of absolute unity - That, that is One.

 -Ishavasya Upanishad

ॐ नमः शिवाय

Have you ever wondered what this mantra actually means? 

What does OM mean? Om means completeness of the moment. Om means fullness. Namah means complete surrender. न-मह - nothing is mine. The understanding of 'nothing is mine' is the surrender which demolishes the Ego. Shiva is the most enlightened state of being...of ecstasy...of bliss. 

This moment is complete and full. At this moment we are complete, we do not have anywhere to go. You and I accept ourselves as we are, accept our life as it is. Let us not compare ourselves with others. Let us not compare today with yesterday, or the next day. I am unique, this day is giving me a unique experience. I am complete so is the moment. This realization, this joy means Om... ॐ

When you say Namah, realize that nothing is really yours... the house, the cars, bank balance, wife, husband, children, boy friend, parents, even your body... because nothing is consistent or stationary in your life. You are only the caretaker, a trustee for the time being. Nothing will remain forever with your soul but the knowledge, the understanding, that  you will earn in your life time. That realization is the Namah... नमः

Shivaya is the highest level of being... which complete awareness, complete understanding, total freedom from ignorance... well not that easy to explain Shiva :)

Happy chanting!

ॐ नमः शिवाय